316 to 315! I was victorious at Scrabble

Taking a break from Sims to leave the house

Last night, I had to choose between the Half Blood Prince midnight premier and a "secret" midnight Dave Chappelle show at Pioneer Square!! The Harry Potter tickets for midnight were sold out, so we saw it at 3 instead. Dave Chappelle actually showed up, he was on the stage, so close, talking into a baby amp, and no one could hear him! The huge audience was so distinctly Portlandish that there were two men and a woman, getting naked, waving around a bottle of Jack Daniels on a rooftop of a Starbucks, about to have sex, almost falling off. Harry Potter was disappointing too, with hardly any build-up of Voldemort! The cave scene was really good though, once I got over how horrible the Dumbledore casting of those movies is! What was supposed to be the best night ever turned out to be a waaam womp

A few nights ago, like 10 cop cars were on Alberta and 15th around 2 am. A man was drunk driving at 100 miles an hour, running red lights. This man's fiancee lives above where we live, and she just happened to go outside to talk to the cops right in front of our window. We creepily listened to the entire converstaion for probably half an hour, peeking though the slightly opened curtains. No one noticed us until a mentally handicapped bystander looked straight at us and started to make weird noises to indicate that he did in fact see us! Then I thought about how mentally handicapped and disabled are horrible, inaccurate terms. People that we deem incapable to live like us have different talents and attributes that I could only dream of having. It would be so cool to switch bodies

I'm sick!

The other day I read about a skin condition called dermagraphia. I figured out that I have that shit! For years, I've had crazy red itchy bug-bite looking things on my skin that go away after half an hour, but I finally figured out why they happen! From what I can tell, I only have a mild case. "Symptoms can be induced by stress, tight or abrasive clothing, watches, glasses, energetic kissing, heat, cold, or anything that causes stress to the skin or the patient. In many cases it is merely a minor annoyance, but in some rare cases symptoms are severe enough to impact a patient's life". Haha, energetic kissing!

I am also sick, even more!, of school. I have one more huge hurdle and a few baby ones. Then, I am free. Not a single time in my life before this will I have felt as free! NO MORE POLITICAL SCIENCE!

Then, only a month in Las Vegas. THEN Portland in the summertime! It all sounds pretty pretty good

Saint Francis spawned such a nice city!

From last Wednesday until yesterday, we were in San Francisco!

Chance, our friend Natalie, and I drove there, and I had soooo much fun! To summarize, we drank boba from the most famous Chinatown outside of China probably and bought many cute and cheap decorations (lantern, butterfly hangings), we danced to jazz and 50's music and got drunk at a bar, which I got into by using Chance's friends ID, we took shrooms at Golden Gate Park, where we layed around, looking at the insane clouds and other people who were also on drugs, we visited many San Francisco neighborhoods (Haight and Ashberry, Chinatown, Little Italy, Russian Hill, downtown, the Mission, the Castro, and they were all so beautiful and distinct from one another), we ate lots of yummy and expensive food (which was vegan for the most part, so twice as good to me than it actually tasted), we stayed at the oldest and proabably one of the fanciest hotels in San Francisco for a night (it was called The Palace), where we took a bath while drinking whiskey and pretending to be rich, we went to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (which had weird and interesting exhibits), and so many other things!

Overall, what I have to say about San Francisco is that it has to be one of the most beautiful cities to ever exist! There are so many nice and so weird people, and I want to go back soon! It made me feel so happy just walking around, holding hands.

Boring

Doing a boring report, distracted

Watched Rosemary's Baby, got creeped out, really liked it!

Haven't showered in days, teeming with hobosity

Just got out of the rain, such low viscosity

Life of Gluttony

The other day, I stayed after my philosophy class to talk about the self-centeredness of Hegel and western philosophy with my professor. The next class, he made a lesson about the things we talked about! I felt so wanted and loved in the major of philosophy!

Yesterday Chance and I watched Coraline, which was adorable. The story was so creative, and the animation was so cool! Also, the Clive Owen movie, The International, which was a long and boringass movie with an ending scene that made it kind of okay to have wasted some time watching the rest. James Bond without no Bond girl or James Bond. We shared a tiny box of sad nachos that still tasted pretty good, and we drank chocolate milkshakes.

Then we bought more food at the grocery store, more ice cream, and the old cashier man that was managing the self check-out asked if I needed help carrying all the ice cream. Then we smoked weed even though I had a ton of homework.

Today I woke up early and pretty dead from the night before and experienced a sunny day in Portland!

Valentine's Day = Christmas & Thanksgiving put together

I ate about as much as two other holidays! Needless to say, I had a wonderful day yesterday =) =) =)

Woke up at 2:30, got fed heart shaped banana peanut butter chocolate chip pancakes (the shape does affect the taste) which were so delicious, went downtown planning to eat appetizers at a bunch of places and no meals, got a beeper at P.F. Chang's because there was a 2 1/2 hour wait, ate yummy rice paper roll things at Thai Peacock, went to Powell's to waste time but the P.F. Chang's beeper kept beeping and being embarrassing, bought a book about Tao, ate an appetizer and meal at P.F. Chang's (cabbage wraps with fake meat filling, yummy tofu broccoli and rice), took indecent photo booth pictures, ate a chocolaty, delicious tiramisu cup, drank sweet wine that tasted so good with chocolate, played Wii, cuddled, went to deep deep sleep! All day I felt like nothing could touch me! I felt like it was my world for the day, and I could kiss and cuddle Chance to death and didn't have to think about anything else!!!

That is why I have so much homework today!

Too much thought on aliens

Last night I became convinced that people must be part aliens

I'm gonna not look at myself in the mirror from now on. Maybe this will help me lose my sense of self

Fuck the USA

Why do I hate people so much when I love people so much?

Naked

I want a haircut, I want a nose ring, I want to listen to music loud enough to not hear my customers! I want to go to other places, I want to go outside right now into the sunshine and flowers instead of inhaling incense!

I think I'm going crazy for real! I can't decide on anything as certain, like I keep having thoughts that everything is perpetually wrong. Yesterday in world peace class, I just kept thinking about how it is pointless to even have that class when we should all just be channeling our energy and I bet we could materialize enough food from the ultimate spirit of the universe for all the people in the world and water and other things people don't really need, like clothing and shelter. In Hegel class, this boy made me realize how clothes are pointless. If I ever have babies, their bodies will be acclimated so they never have to clothe!

This summer, I'm gonna "protest" gender discrimination by using my right to do it by getting naked on the streets of the state of Oregon!!

I also have a problem with world peace class because it is all about making PEOPLE happy, fat, and satisfied. It is about industrializing unindustrialized countries so the people in those countries can become degenerates like the people in the west have been since so long ago. Yes, yes, every person in my class would say that it is about getting people the absolute necessities to live, but the ultimate goal is just to advance the human race, and I'm not about that shit. Yes, it would be nice to help little children live and have wonderful lives, but I would rather help little animals, who are not intrinsically crazy and parasites to nature!

It's sickening to hear my class talk about helping the third world "develop". The third world has it right! We should be trying to be more like them and less like ourselves.

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz

I'm at work, and I have been here for 2 hours and 15 minutes now. I've had one customer in that time. I'm wasting away in this bong shop! I have nothing to do. The internet is very limited!!! It does not have that much to entertain me!! My foot is asleep, and I keep imagining that Rick will walk in, see me on the computer, and I won't be able to put it away in time and pretend to be working because of my limp foot.

I'm going to change majors to philosophy. This means that I will drop Political Analysis and Inquiry, because I would be stupid to take that class if I didn't have to, and I will just have to take 6 classes next semester. But that is so far away that I'm willing to agree to it.

Now, I'm going to go look at clips of the Tyra show!!!

Buddhism in space

I believe that aliens have tricked people into thinking we are the individuals and not part of the oneness that is really reality. They have done this because they need to feed on our anxiety, which is created from our need to latch on to individuality!

Day off from school

Today me and Chance went to Fred Meyer and bought enough food for our family of 4. Me, him, my stomach, his stomach. We watched Big Love, which SOMEHOW has found new story-lines. I thought everything that could ever be conceived had already happened on that show. Also, I skipped school for the first time this semester. It's so nice to only go to school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, because no matter what day I skip, I get a weekend out of it by not having school 2 days in a row. Since I didn't go to where I pay to be, I felt slightly better about that because we went to the food stamps office. There, I found out, surprise surprise, no one is going to give me food stamps. Chance only got $17 a month, which makes me think that the government is stingy as well as not as stupid as I thought. We rode bikes there, and I re-realized again how much I love Portland. I realize this more frequently every time the weather warms up (yes, weather Sarah). Today I found out that the first openly gay mayor of a major city, beautiful Portland, gave an important job to an unqualified reporter because he was afraid she would expose his romance with an 18 year old. I don't understand this. I would only respect this man more if I heard that! 18 year old booty!! I want some 18 year old booty and I'm only slightly 19!

I wish I had post nasal drip for a fun reason

I'm sick and sound like a dude. I keep having to blow my nose, and I'm leaky. Also, I haven't gotten my books for school yet, so I can't do my homework. I'm always behind!

Chance and I started watching Arrested Development. I like that show, especially when it is graced by Julia Louis Dreyfus as a guest-star (cause I started watching Seinfeld recently too). Also, the cousin romance is so cute!

Portland's first Sanrio opened at Pioneer Square. We visited it yesterday, because the first time we went there, it wasn't open yet. We just stood outside, looking though the partially blocked-off glass at the mess inside, which was to become the cutest store ever! Yesterday though, I bought some little girl size large undies which were so cute and some gum. We also spun this wheel which you get to spin and win prizes on Saturdays. I won a rose perfume, and Chance won a sparkly purple nailpolish, which is now mine.

On Friday, we hung out with Erica's new roommate. This girl is from Las Vegas, and originally from Bosnia.????? This was so bizarre to me the first time I heard it, but the weirdness has worn off. Her name is Lana, and she's very nice. Erica thinks that residential life must think that in order for someone to be able to live through being her roommate that person must be from Sin City and a war torn country. This is true. I also found out that Erica has Bible study in their dorm room once a week this year.

We just saw the end of the Eagles Cardinals game (Ivy, both our teams suck) and took my sewing machine to this fabric store called Bolt to try to figure out what is wrong. The store was so busy and the lady didn't really help. I'm going to spend the rest of today trying to figure it out until we go to a Flaspar show with RobLob (who is, unbelievably, back in Portland)!

You Pee

Today is the first day of classes AGAIN. I woke up at like 8 am, because I am going to try a new sleep schedule. I'm sick of being a night owl and it is kinda hard to be one anyway when your boyfriend has a normal scheduled job. My throat hurts but I'm kinda looking forward to my classes. I'm taking Powerful Ideas in Physical Science (I don't know what that is but the book is really expensive, so I'm considering dropping it), Political Inquiry and Analysis (Horrible, terrible class I have to take with the most intimidating teacher ever. I can't get away from her!), Hegel and 19th. Century Philosophy (This is interesting, besides being a 474 class!!!!!), Modern American Women's History (I hope there are dudes in this class), and Building World Peace (hahaha).

The beginning of this last weekend was pretty bad. I feel kinda drained, kinda confused, kinda happy, kinda sad. All that is certain is that I smoked hella weed

Im high and chance is organizing and cleaning.how weird!!!!!

My body is finally naturally releasing some serotonin!

Last night, I was in such a good mood for no reason. I kept running around Jambo dancing since not one customer had come in for hours before that. Sometimes I get these euphoric feelings in my stomach. Usually they have nothing to do with what would normally make a person happy. Usually, I'm just bored or in a pretty place (which Jambo is not) and my body goes crazy and jittery. I haven't had one of those feelings since probably a year ago. Maybe that has to do with how much weed and alcohol and other drugs I've been doing.

This morning, I came to work an hour later than the store was supposed to open. It is my last day working until next Tuesday and after working 4 miserable days in a row! I'm going to pawn off all the work my boss left me to the other girl who works here. I don't feel bad about this because even though I've never met or seen her, I get the impression she is a bitch. She once wrote a note to "Fellow Jambo Employees" (WHICH OTHER THAN HER IS ONLY ME), bitching about vacuuming. I am the only one that vacuums though!

I just read koala bear's journal and found something in there that made me mad. I hate being able to read things he has written, because I feel like I shouldn't be. I really hate how being in a relationship makes me so negative and annoyed all the time. Sometime I weigh the importance of telling him about something that bothers me with the importance of just keeping the peace and positivity. I think about when I was single and how it was allllll sooooo simple.

I've been listening to Neutral Milk Hotel at work, and whenever a hippy walks in here (which are all the customers here), they seem weirded out. Usually, they come in to the last song on Avery Island, which is just a bunch of noise basically. It's like, as soon as the CD gets to that song (because I listen to that CD over and over since it is one of very few which don't skip), a customer walks in. I'm gonna start skipping that last song and maybe I will no longer be bothered.

The imports (bong) shop where I work

Almost 6 hours of another 8 hour shift at Jambo have passed. Having a computer here makes me feel sneaky and paranoid but it doesn't feel like work when I'm online! It's weird that the girl who trained me equated using Jambo's wifi to being high at work. I wonder if I will get caught, since my boss Rick somehow knows when I close the store and am gone getting food for too long. He is so creepy. Yesterday, I brought the computer for the first time. I was planning to use it and put it away really quickly if he came in. He drives a red pickup truck, and I was very freaked out when the second I put the computer on a table and opened it, a red pickup truck parked right in front! I put the computer away so fast. It's weird how I can be fast and not lazy when I need to be. It makes me think about what other things I would be able to do just by instinct if I couldn't or didn't think about what is most comfortable. Anyway, when I was done shuffling around, I was so annoyed to see a man who was not Rick coming through the front door! After that, I even remembered that he will not be in Portland for the next 2 weeks. Thinking that he was out of town (like he told me!), I went on to basically just sit online the whole day, sometimes even ignoring customers. After there was nothing else to do online, I put the computer away and started playing DS and writing Bosnian lessons for Chance, but still not working. THEN he came in out of nowhere! If he had only come like a half hour before, I would have decided once and for all that the universe is against me. He didn't catch me, but he brought in 3 huge boxes of water pipes for me to get ready to sell.

These water pipes are crazy!!!!! First of all, they are from China, and the way the people who make them are allowed to ship them out of China is by disguising them and calling them vases. They place this sticker that says "Made in China" over the bowl hole! The way they are designed, you cannot even see from the other side that there is a hole there! However, they use stickers with the cheapest, shittiest glue! And it is my job to first scrape that sticker off, which takes 2 min for some, but like 20 for others because it is stuck on so horribly! This transfer of slave labor to ME in the USA is what most of all out of everything I've ever heard about the CCP makes me think it is a little off. After I scrape the stickers off, I get to do a whole bunch of other things to those water pipes (BONGS) before they can be sold, and right now, I've convinced myself, Sarah, and Ivy to write blogs so I can do something other than my job! Another example of how I am not lazy sometimes!

A large part of why I actually mind doing all that stuff is because my thumb hurts. Two nights ago, I played Pacman for maybe 4 or 5 hours consecutively. For some reason, it feels like if I press the controls harder, I'll make him go faster, but instead, I've made my finger feel like an elephant stepped on it! Then last night, I washed a lot of dishes, which made my finger so pruney and in so much pain again. Tonight, I'll have to restrain myself from trying to beat Chance's Pacman record, which will be so hard, since it is impossible to not want to beat him!!! I'm never even competitive besides with him, but with him, it's with everything!

I keep thinking about food. I'm always hungry, and it makes me so mad that Sarah had to tell me about gelatin!!! I had never heard of that shit, and now I can't eat any of the many packs of gummies that are available to me! Not eating meat is no fun! Even less fun is not buying leather shoes, especially when Portland has become Michigan and it snows all the time and your last pair of leather shoes have holes on the bottom. I don't want to wear those rubber swamp shoes though!

Just now, a lady who was so high came into Jambo. She smelled so good